home, let me come home

I first heard of and listened to this song three summers ago when I was in America, far away from home.  And three summers after, I am in American now, and again am far away from home.  What's different this time is that I am here to stay, not for a month only like last time, but for four years.  Hong Kong will always be my home though, or rather; like the song but a tit-bit different, home is where I belong with my mama and papa and my family.  I will miss them dearly and I can't wait to see them next summer back home.  Home, let me come home.

Shell

"What if we could remember things we didn't experience."

This is probably the first Wong Fu short film I've watched, if I hadn't remembered wrongly.   And after watching so many other short films from them, this still stays my favorite.   

The quietness and calmness in this video, with the silent background and the occasional piano background when Chris speaks his fictional memory, hits right on point and make the short film so poetic and beautiful.  Just as Wes said in the video's commentary, "the visuals we imagine are often more brilliant than truths and reality we experience."  The juxtaposition of the two locations, one in the city with all the metallic themes and city lights, and the other in the fields with the mellow and embracing sunlight creates a stark contrast between fiction and reality. And Chris's voice over is so full of emotions and the last line, "and then, fiction becomes reality..." just killed it.

This film is as if poetry in video form, and I enjoyed every single bit of it.  I felt as if I understood more and felt more, and even differently, every time I watch it.  It seemed so complex, the first few times when I watched this, but slowly, it all makes sense.   I really enjoyed the quiet conversation between Chris and Mimi, and especially love how the entire video is capturing just, perhaps, a single short and clipped moment in real life, but in such detail.  To remember things that never existed, and create memories that aren't real but wished they were?  It is such a beautiful, romantic and abstract idea, and yet it can all be represented in and explained by a shell; how people hear the waves of the ocean crashing ashore but never having been near to the ocean and know what the waves sound like.

This short is pure perfection and I hope you'll love it too.   Let me know below what you think about it, I'd really like to know.

girl crush: Georgia May Jagger

Pretty girl and the daughter of Mick Jagger, Georgia May Jagger is the it girl in season. (don't kill me, but she's way better than Cara Delevingne in my opinion.)  And that tooth gap is to die for.

pics via marieclaireuk, coolspotters, tumblr

diaries abroad: I'm an introvert.

This is a new section that I'm starting, which is 'Diaries Abroad', and this is where I plan to talk about the sudden ponders and thoughts I have here in this (still) strange land that I'm in.  All the cultural shock and weird experiences, awkwardness or awesomeness, will be here in 'diaries abroad'. 

I am a proud introvert.  I wasn't before.  I mean I have always been an introvert, but I was not proud of it.

There was a time, when I desperately wanted to be extroverted. I wanted so bad to be outgoing and talkative and active and happy and bubbly and have something to say (aloud) about at everything.  But I just couldn't.  There was a time when I hated myself for that and felt so frustrated.  Yet, I have learnt to be proud of it and accept it because that's me.  And introverts are great, I mean, a lot of great people are introverted.   You can go ahead and listen to the TED talk about introverts.  It's super insightful.  I promise.

Now that I'm here in uni though, I feel like I couldn't survive on being an introvert.  People here all talk to people.  I don't mean I am a total shy and wordless/soundless and timid type of person, but it's just that I  seldom take the initiative to talk to people.  I run out of conversation topics in just a snap and it's just awkward silences after 'Hi, how are you doing? Good? Awesome. So where do you come from? Oh wow, that's great.  What's it like there?  Nice.  I didn't catch your name?  Oh, mine's Joey ---'  My mind doesn't work that fast while I'm talking because I get nervous when I'm meeting people.  Because I am an introvert and I am not that outgoing.  But these first few weeks, I know is crucial to meeting people and making new friends.  I cross my fingers that I might all of a sudden break out of my introverted cage and just for once be someone talkative.  Dear God above, please have mercy and help me.

This is the conclusion I've come to.  And introverts out there, here is what I think about us.

Yes, we can be quiet and go into deep thoughts and meditate and ponder about life and space and universe.  But we've got to stop pinning this introverted badge on our skin and hide behind it or show it to everyone.    If we don't talk, we don't survive.  True, us introverts need our own space and peace and quiet.  But to survive in this superficial society, where the loud ones get their voice heard, we have to speak up because we need a place in the society, we need to meet people and make acquaintances fast.  We've got to work our heads like turbos and generate questions to raise in conversations.  We've got to have a response to everything and be curious.  And if you are damned to be born with a poker face (like me), try to take it off your face.  I got to try it too, because this poker face is just keeping everyone away.  I don't really know how yet, I mean, sometimes even when I'm really interested or ready to talk to people, I just look uncaring and impassive.  Just got to loosen up them face muscles, I guess.

That's all the crap I have to say today.  Good night everyone.

All By Myself

I've never felt a song get me that much as this one, and it sure is a spur of a moment thing; but still, this morning, this song was like the summary of my now, my situation.  My family left this morning and 'All by Myself' kept looping in my head non-stop, even when I tried playing another song.  I suddenly felt so alone.  I am alone.  This is what I thought.  I don't wanna be all by myself.   It should be my new life here in the university and I should be all excited and happy about it.  But the thing is, I was doubting if I really wanted all of this.  There was just me and myself here, and no one gets me and there's no one to talk to.

So here is a slice of loneliness and emptiness I'd like to share.  Please do close your eyes and imagine, feel the moment, the emotion, and take a little bit of this solitude in, so as to ease this bottomless hole in my heart.

I'm just joking, I'm feeling much better now.  I will make it through, I have to.  Because this is what I've always wanted.  I won't be all by myself for long.

mama's girl

To honor the ending of my birthday week, (yes, my birthday is such a big deal that it lasts whole week) here is an extract I found on tumblr and really liked.  And it kind of echoes with, or kind of offers a different way out to my hopeless birthday post/rant on Monday, that while being older and an adult, we lose our innocence and naivety.

I guess the inner child in us never dies and shows up whenever we feel different emotions.  I particularly was touched by the line, "or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama's lap because you're scared, and that's the part of you that's five."  True, no matter how old I get, I will always need my mama, perhaps not sitting on her lap because that would probably cripple her; but her embrace and her comforting presence, I will always need.  I will always be her little girl, and that for one I know and gives me console when in face with the cruel and the unknown adulthood.

Never Seen Such Good Things