40 Days of Dating

I just finished reading this blog.  It is about how a pair of best friends, who are both single and have their own issues with relationships, decided to work on an experiment: to date each other for 40 days and chronicling their feelings daily.  There are loads of images and artsy typography in the entries every day (no surprise they are both creative minds and got creative friends).  It is an extremely interesting read and soon after I began to read it I find myself absorbed into their relationship.  It is an extremely risky experiment, a close friendship was at stake.  I would love to try it though with my guy best friend.   I would.

Well, reading honest and personal diary entries of Jessie and Tim for 40 days have surely given me insight to what relationships should be.  Being pathetically single that I am, I am reading to prepare myself for my future romantic endeavors.  They have all these cute quotes at the beginning of each entry and I'd like to say something about.  I will start a series perhaps.  And the next post will be the first one.

You must check the blog out: fortydaysofdating.com

High Highs

Recently, I am loving the mellow and echoey sound of the High Highs.  This Sydney, Australian born (now Brooklyn-based) band is mega-awesome and mega-rad.  Their songs relax and unwind me.  Perfect for the moments of escape from the hectic reality that everybody needs. 

This is the most well-known song by them, played while the credits roll in Pitch Perfect.  And apparently it was in Catfish as well?

This one is my favorite.  It's their cover of Pnau's The Truth, but I love this version way more.  And here's my favorite bit.

You know I met you baby I thought that you were the sun

I felt your presence and your pure warmth shone upon

And then the night fell hard and you were the moon

I rode your waves but I fell too soon

I thought you were the truth

Here is an 30 mins performance by the High Highs.  I love it.

Howl

In Howl, James Franco played Allen Ginsberg, the writer of 'Howl', a poem reflecting the way Ginsberg saw society from his point of view.  I have yet to read the poem itself, but from what is seen and heard from the movie, the publisher of 'Howl and Other Poems' was in court trial due to the fact that some people found the language, the imagery and the poem itself obscene and unsuitable for publication.

I guess the main debate in the court case of Howl is 'What is the definition of art?'  What is obscene and what is creative expression?  It has always been a debatable question and I don't see any answer to it, nor any point in trying to reach a conclusion to the question because, well, art is undefinable.  Everyone has his or her own take on any piece of art, on literature, on music.  Everyone has his or her own moral boundaries and own creative expressions.  It is unfair to classify others' works as obscene and inappropriate just because they do not fit one's own rule book.  And there shouldn't be any rules to art anyway. There shouldn't be any rule book to creative expression because if so, there wouldn't be artistic freedom, or any kind of freedom, for everything is art.  

One thing art is, as I concluded from the movie, is honesty.  Art, no matter in what form, is an expression of self.  Making art and presenting one's work is to share a piece of oneself for the world to see.  Art is a medium for people to tap into themselves, to sort out their insides; a medium of expressing what they think and feel.  Ginsberg is bold and honest in 'Howl', and frank in his speech and diction. He didn't hide away from nor conform to general literary and societal confinements on art and on expression.  He wrote true to heart, integrating and merging his muse with his friends, his family, his past experiences, his life, himself.  

The movie jumps between time and space, and is essentially composed of four settings.  There is the interview scenes with the older Ginsberg in his apartment; there is the black and white scenes depicting his past and his growth; there is the scene of young Ginsberg reading his piece with passion to an audience; and there is the court scene where the debates about 'Howl' happen.  It isn't difficult to follow, the jumps of time and space.  In fact, they serve as pretty nice cuts and chapters of the movie.  The film also implemented animated scenes during young Ginsberg's reading of his poetry, which I personally did not appreciate that much.  I feel like it broke the realism of the film.

Howl is a great movie and it is worth to watch, even just for listening to James Franco's vivid and passionate reading of 'Howl'.  I love it.

nothing

'nothing' is my favorite word.

Adore

I took it as a dare to myself when I decided to watch this movie.  I even debated if I really want to watch it.  I remember watching the trailer a half year ago, and the thought of it, the idea of the film seemed just so twisted and disgusting to me.  But today, out of boredom and curiosity, I decided to give it a go.  I was certain that my moral values would be brought to a new low upon watching this.  I was so sure I would be grossed out by this film.  Turns out, it wasn't as awful as I thought it would be.  Turns out, I really like it.

Adore is a movie about the relationship between a pair of best friends, Lil and Roz (Naomi Watts and Robin Wright) with their respective sons, Ian and Tom (Xavier Samuels and James Frenchville).  The movie is twisted to me because it is beyond Oedipus complex, it is about falling in love with your best friend's son and mother (in Ian and Tom's case).  

After watching it, I came to a few conclusions.  

1. Life is full of improvisations.  Improvise and follow your heart.

We never know what life brings and we can only improvise and follow our hearts.  Lil never thought anything would happen between her and Tom, her best friend's son.  Neither did Roz.  Nor did Tom, nor Ian, I think.  Never had they thought that they would fall for their best friend's mother.  But when things come and feelings hit, we can only take them as they are and try our best to work things out.  Instead of pulling themselves away from one another, and hurting one another (at least at the beginning) the four of them were open about their feelings and tried to work things out, improvising along the way.  Yes, in the middle of the story, they all tried to do what the society deemed 'right' and 'moral', and while doing so, they all got hurt and broken as they wandered off the paths their hearts told them to go.  Life is a series of improvisations, a series of educated and calculated risks.  Our hearts know best what is best for us.

2. Love is destructive.

This is a well-known and widely accepted fact.  But I felt strongly the destructive powers of love when I saw Ian trying to kill himself in the waves.  The forbidden love between him and Roz, the rejection from Roz while he knew well that she still loves him and he still loves her dearly...all of these emotions and frustration led to his attempt to kill himself.  As I watched Xavier Samuels yell at Roz through the door, banging on it, trying to get in, to talk with her; and as I watched Samuels, again yelled at Roz upon finding out that his mother and Tom were continuing on with their relationship, I felt his immense pain and hurt, and the betrayal that was piercing through his body, his soul.  Lil's tears as she learnt that Tom is getting married, and Roz's tears too as she decided to break off with Ian, are heart breaking.  Her tears showed me that, no matter how old one is, no matter how mature one is, to love is to love, and to be heart broken is to be heart broken.  Hannah and Mary were the victims in the twisted tangly relationship between the four main characters.  The love Lil and Tom, Ian and Roz have for each other not only destroyed them, but Hannah and Mary as well.  

3. You can't force love.

The four of them all tried to force love.  Lil and Roz tried to let go of Tom and Ian respectively, to let them live their own lives, start families and be normal.  Ian and Tom forced their love for their best friend's mother away and forced themselves to love the women they found for themselves, Tom to Mary and Ian to Hannah.  However, forcing love doesn't work, and they would never be happy if they continue to force their hearts to love someone they don't.  And it is also unfair to Mary and Hannah.  It all went back to square one in the end, as the characters all let go of what society deemed normal and moral, and by following their true desires, they all achieve true happiness.

The movie is filmed in beautiful Australia and has exquisite scenes and views of the ocean and the waves and the blue blue skies.  It also has the hot bods of the boys and the pretty face of Naomi Watts.  I feel that Xavier Samuels have delivered a superb performance in Adore.  His character, Ian, seems to be the one with the most intense feeling, the most love and the most hurt of the four.  His sorrowful frowns and strained expressions really touched my heart as I was watching the movie and I was deeply moved by his performance.  

Yes, it all still sounds a bit twisted to me, but well, it's love and it's not supposed to make sense nor can you control it, can you?

A Finger, Two Dots Then Me

This is absolutely beautiful.  A Finger, Two Dots Then Me is written and performed by spoken word poet, Derrick Brown, and directed by David and Daniel Holechek.  In this piece, Brown wrote of love and his depictions of the afterlife.  He, like poets do, gives romanticized images of love and afterlife, and achieves perfection.  The way he wrote it, the prose, the imagery, the rhetoric; the way he read it, the voice, the rhythm, the rises and falls of tones and emotions all work miraculously and harmoniously together to form the core of this short film.  His words are so powerful, they hooked me in right from the start.  The visuals that the Holechek brothers filmed and edited enhanced the ocular experience of Brown's performance.  The short jumps from multi-angled shots of Brown passionately reading, to the many different imageries that are present in the poem made the short a perfect harmony and composition words, sound and visuals.  Perfection.


A Finger, Two Dots Then Me

Lying together in the park on Seventh,
our backs smoosh grass and I say
I will love you till I become a child again,
when feeding me and bathing me is no longer romantic,
but rather necessary.

I will love you till there is no till.
Till I die.
And when that electroencephalogram shuts down, darlin'
that’s when the real lovin’ kicks in.

Forgive me for sounding selfish
but I won’t be able to wait under the earth for you
I will not be able to wait for you…

but I will meet up with you
and here’s where you will find me:
get a pen–

Hold your finger up
(two fingers if your hands are frail by now)
and count two stars directly to the left
of the North American moon.
You will find me there.
You will find me darting behind amazing quasars
Behind bright flirtatious winks
of blasting boom stars!

Sometimes charging so far into space
the darkness goes blue.
I will be there chasing sound waves
riding them like two-dollar pony horses
that have finally broken from side carousels.
I will be facing backwards, lying sideways,
no hands, sidesaddle, sometimes standing
sometimes screaming zip zang zowie!
My God, it’s good to be back in space… Where is everybody?

You will recognize my voice.
You will see the flash of a fire trail
burning off the back of me
burning like a gasoline comet kerosene sapphire.
This is my voice.
Don’t look for my body or a ghost.
I’ll resemble more a pilot light than a man now.

I’m sure some will see
this cobalt star white light from earth
and cast me a wish like a wonder bomb.
And I’ll think “Hmmph. people still do that?”

I’m sure I’ll collect and take the light wonder bombs
to the point in the universe
where sound does end.
The back porch of God’s summer home.

It’s so quiet here, you float.
It feels the way cotton candy tastes.

I say to him, God… why do I call you God?
He says ‘Because Grand Poobah would sound ridiculous.’
And I say, Yes! I knew you have a sense of humor.  I saw what you did to Phenix.

But God, so many poets have tried to tackle it, Ginsberg, Corso and they missed, what is holy? What is actually holy?’

At that moment,
the planets begin to spin and awaken
and large movie screens appear on Mars, Saturn and Venus
each bearing images I have witnessed throughout my life
and over each and every clip flashes the word holy.

armadillos–holy
magic tricks–holy
cows’ tongues–holy
snowballs upside the head–holy
clumsy first kisses–holy
sneaking into movies–holy
your mother teaching you to slow dance
the fear returning
the fear overcome–holy
eating top ramen on upside-down frisbees
cause it was either plates or more beer–holy
drunk beach cruiser nights–holy
the $5.00 you made in vegas
and the $450.00 you lost–holy
the last time you were nervous holding hands–holy
feeling God at a pool hall but not church–holy
sleeping during your uncle’s memorized dinner prayer–holy
losing your watch in the waves and all that signifies–holy
the day you got to really speak to your father cause the television broke–holy
the day your grandmother told you something meaningful
cause she was dying–holy
the medicine
the hope
the blood
the fear
the trust
the crush
the work
the loss
the love
the test
the birth
the end
the finale
the design
in the stars
is the same
in our hearts
the design
in the stars
is the same
in our hearts
in the rebuilt machinery of our hearts

So love, you will know exactly what to look for
and exactly where to go…

Take your time and don’t worry about getting lost.
You’ll find me.
Up there, a finger and two dots away.
If you’re wondering if I’ll still be able to hold you
…I don’t know

But I do know that I could still fall for
a swish of light that comes barreling
and cascading towards me.

It will resemble your sweet definite hands.
The universe will bend.
The planets will bow.
And I will say “Oh, there you are.  Now we can go.”

And the two pilot lights go zoooooooom
into the black construction paper night

as somewhere else
two other lovers lie down on their backs, stare hard into the night sky and say
“What the hell was that?”

The Perils of Growing Up Flat-Chested

The Perils of Growing Up Flat-Chested is a romantic short by Yulin Kuang.  Katya is, well, a flat-chested girl, and she is quite insecure about the size of her breasts.  She tries hard to make them grow bigger before her study date with her crush, Owen.  Things did not turn out the way she thinks they would, and the short ends with Owen and Katya talking it out above a swimming pool, the unravelling of their insecurities and the beginning of a relationship.

Irene Choi (Katya) captured her character well, with the insecurities and anxiety of a high school teenaged girl.  The short is an adorable and honest depiction of what goes through a teenage girl's mind in her coming of age years; not only with the breasts, but the nervousness and awkwardness of finding the right guy, of starting a relationship.

Being a small-chested girl that I am, I have moved past the phase of hating them or being ashamed of them.  Or actually, I don't think I have ever disliked my breasts, so I couldn't say I relate to Katya that much, even though we are kind of on the same boat.  I guess I never was the type to crave for bigger chests.  I just find having two big blobs of fat in front of your chest pretty inconvenient.  Don't be mistaken though, I totally love the shape of women's body.  If you are blessed with a big chest, you go, girl! I've never thought into this that much, that the size of my breasts, or a girl's breasts will affect her love life. I mean, if it does, if a guy doesn't want you because of your bust size, girl, he is NOT a keeper.

There are two things Owen said while they were sitting on the diving board that made me pause and think for a second.  The first is, 'We (as in boys) consider ourselves lucky just to touch you'.  The first reaction I had to this line while watching it was, 'are we that precious?' Society and the media have built up a certain sense of preciousness in women and I can't say it is a good or a bad thing. It's bad in a sense that it creates a certain barrier between males and females, as if women are untouchables, and men have to tip-toe and find a way around every time.  While, it's good obviously, because we don't need no more sexual molesters roaming the streets harassing people.  It's ultimately good, I guess.

The second thing that Owen said is, 'Look, I don't have a six pack.  I have this weird belly button.' Being a girl, I maximize my insecurities a whole ton, and always think that guys have no such problems.  Silly enough, I didn't actually realize (I mean I do see it on TV and movies and stuff, but...) guys crush on girls too, until I was maybe 14 years old.  What Owen said reminds me that everybody has insecurities and I am not alone.  You are not alone.

I really enjoyed this short and it is definitely a delightful story to see.