heart to heart confession time maybe?
Two years ago, my sister left home to study abroad and it was quite a difficult time, a dark time even, for me because I had to readjust. It was a time of me self- exploring and getting to know who I am, and finding out who I want myself to be. It was quite a turning point for me because all my life, I have had a sister who would play with me, quarrel with me, share bedrooms with me, share wardrobes with me; whom I can talk to whenever and hide behind whenever things get difficult. And now she is no longer available 24/7, no longer beside me all the time.
You can say I was living in her shadow all along and it's a mixed feeling. I don't want to be in her shadow (she shines so brightly and is so great in whatever she does), but I also had been seeking refuge in her shadow for the past 16 years of my life. I felt naked, it felt as if suddenly I have lost my shield to the obstacles that I face, obstacles that I would usually be able to shield away and escape from. Yet, it also felt exhilarating because it is finally my time to shine and it is finally about me. I think some younger siblings out there might get what I felt, at least a bit of it, I know everyone's feelings are different.
I won't get all deep into what I went through and talk about all my emotions and tears back then. No one is interested anyway. But I think I could say I came out of this turning point of my life victoriously. I think I really did. And I am glad that I am joining my sister next year. There won't be a 12-hour time lag between us, but only a 6-hour driving trip. And I know that even if I am physically closer to my sis (though not as close as when we were living together at home), I won't be in her shadow anymore and I will shine brightly as I am.
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