Sunday Inspo: Dr Martens #firstandforever

It's honesty hour, folks.  I am seventeen, almost eighteen, and I've never been in love.  Being a girl that I am; or rather, being the type of girl that I am (ie. my head's always in the cloud and I kind of live in the future), I always imagine what first love would be like.  

First love would be the awkward touching of the back of hands, until you were brave enough to catch love firmly between your fingers.  

First love would be the weird first kiss, when you don't quite know yet, how it should be done, or how you should place your nose, your mouth, your tongue so that sparks fly and magic happens whenever the lips touch.  

First love would be the time when all the love songs you've listened to, finally make sense to you.  

First love would be the beating of passion and the fluttering of romance inside of you, when all you could think of is loving and being loved. 

First love would be the sweetness in your smile when you know that love is real, is alive, living and is tangible. 

First love would be the opening of chests of treasures, and of hearts; and the discovery of wonders and experiences that you know will stick with you forever.

This video from last year, by Dr Martens,  kind of summed up what first love would be like for me.  And until the lovefairy grant me the first man of my life, I'll just continue on with my imagination, and patiently (or not) await the coming of that special day.  

First love comes with first heartbreak, I guess.  Not everyone is lucky enough to get it right their first time.  I also imagine sometimes, what my first heartbreak would be like.  And I can only imagine so much until I experienced it.  

First heartbreak would be the shattering of hearts, when you felt that a piece of you was gone, tore away from the core of you.

First heartbreak would be sweetness turned bitter, when each memory, each promise had turned into a stain, a hurt, and a dagger stabbed into your heart.

First heartbreak would be the tears that ran from your eyes as you listened to songs of other heartbreaks and you would say to that voice singing, "I get you, finally. "

First heartbreak would be loneliness, when you felt like there is no one to talk to, no one to listen, no one to hug and cuddle, and no one to stand behind you, in front of you, stand by you.

First heartbreak would be the death of something beautiful, the death of smiles, of giggles, of joy, and of the magical sweetness of first love.

First heartbreak would be a sad revelation, when you realized you've been a fool for falling in love the first place, when you realized what you thought was forever, wasn't.

I don't know how accurate I am, nor if it really is how my first love and heartbreak will feel like.  What I know is, I will regret saying this someday, but I anticipate my first heartbreak as much as I anticipate my first love.  I know some people out there is probably rolling their eyes at me and saying spitefully, "just you wait" and "oh no, you didn't".  But to me, this rookie or even, this outsider in the 'love scene': heartbreaks, like love, is an experience.  Heartbreaks meant new emotions, feelings, and thoughts.  And I say, "one has not truly lived if one has not had one's heart broken" (I will totally regret this,and yes, I just quoted myself, sorry).  As a person who writes (not yet a writer, but someday perhaps), I treasure these emotions, these sentiments, because it is these experiences that will enrich me and my imaginations. I know, and I hope I will still know when heartbreak first come to visit, that no one is a fool for falling in love.  Being in love is a beautiful thing, and so is being heartbroken.  Because it is the sorrow and the grief you felt that made the past love real; and it is the shattered heart and bitter tears that made love all the more beautiful.