This is a new section that I'm starting, which is 'Diaries Abroad', and this is where I plan to talk about the sudden ponders and thoughts I have here in this (still) strange land that I'm in. All the cultural shock and weird experiences, awkwardness or awesomeness, will be here in 'diaries abroad'.
I am a proud introvert. I wasn't before. I mean I have always been an introvert, but I was not proud of it.
There was a time, when I desperately wanted to be extroverted. I wanted so bad to be outgoing and talkative and active and happy and bubbly and have something to say (aloud) about at everything. But I just couldn't. There was a time when I hated myself for that and felt so frustrated. Yet, I have learnt to be proud of it and accept it because that's me. And introverts are great, I mean, a lot of great people are introverted. You can go ahead and listen to the TED talk about introverts. It's super insightful. I promise.
Now that I'm here in uni though, I feel like I couldn't survive on being an introvert. People here all talk to people. I don't mean I am a total shy and wordless/soundless and timid type of person, but it's just that I seldom take the initiative to talk to people. I run out of conversation topics in just a snap and it's just awkward silences after 'Hi, how are you doing? Good? Awesome. So where do you come from? Oh wow, that's great. What's it like there? Nice. I didn't catch your name? Oh, mine's Joey ---' My mind doesn't work that fast while I'm talking because I get nervous when I'm meeting people. Because I am an introvert and I am not that outgoing. But these first few weeks, I know is crucial to meeting people and making new friends. I cross my fingers that I might all of a sudden break out of my introverted cage and just for once be someone talkative. Dear God above, please have mercy and help me.
This is the conclusion I've come to. And introverts out there, here is what I think about us.
Yes, we can be quiet and go into deep thoughts and meditate and ponder about life and space and universe. But we've got to stop pinning this introverted badge on our skin and hide behind it or show it to everyone. If we don't talk, we don't survive. True, us introverts need our own space and peace and quiet. But to survive in this superficial society, where the loud ones get their voice heard, we have to speak up because we need a place in the society, we need to meet people and make acquaintances fast. We've got to work our heads like turbos and generate questions to raise in conversations. We've got to have a response to everything and be curious. And if you are damned to be born with a poker face (like me), try to take it off your face. I got to try it too, because this poker face is just keeping everyone away. I don't really know how yet, I mean, sometimes even when I'm really interested or ready to talk to people, I just look uncaring and impassive. Just got to loosen up them face muscles, I guess.
That's all the crap I have to say today. Good night everyone.
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